


there’s blood in my mouth from every time I’ve had to bite my tongue

by RowanQuinn



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: (shh you can't say anything she's my baby), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Everything Hurts, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Let's Write tumblr prompt, Nothing is okay, Sad, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love, don't hate him, kind of, teresa ma bby, thomas is not a douche, what did i do to u
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 12:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2692625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowanQuinn/pseuds/RowanQuinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas is the only one Teresa has ever cared for.<br/>(It’s not enough)</p>
            </blockquote>





	there’s blood in my mouth from every time I’ve had to bite my tongue

**Author's Note:**

> [title comes from [here](http://putthepromptsonpaper.tumblr.com/post/103471594146/theres-blood-in-my-mouth-from-every-time-ive)]
> 
> I'm a terrible human being.  
> TERESA, MA BBY  
> I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE  
> PLS FORGIVE ME

 

 

**i. son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?**

Thomas is firstly a boy with clumsy limbs and big, greenish brown eyes. He’s not exactly someone she would look up to a friendship, and it’s not like they’re _friends_ , but, somehow, they bond. Her opinion about him is probably supported by the fact that he doesn’t think she’s a total freak.  
They get along just fine (or just fine as their parents let them, because Thomas’ parents are just bad as hers — sharp judging eyes and tense shoulders, fingers twitching to grab their arms and push them apart at the mere signal of proximity).

 

**ii. and all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me (for all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me)**

She doesn’t know when they actually _become_ friends, but it’s somewhere between the urge to strangle each other, the fact that none of the other kids their age like them, and right answers in math classes. It’s somewhere between quick sideways glances at each other when they go their separate ways at the end of the day, somewhere between looking at each other bruises and recognizing them; because to every scar Teresa has, Thomas has a matching one. They’re not the same, they could never be, but whenever they look at each other, there’s a spark. They’re _alike_ and it’s something Teresa isn’t used to dealing with; because she could never look at someone and think that they’re like her (they never are and she resigned herself to the fact that it would ever be this way).

 

**iii. we’ll show ‘em what we all mean**

_I know you. I know you because you’re like me. We’re not together in this, you’ve been alone just as much as I’ve been, but we could be. We don’t need to be lonely anymore, and I’m not saying I can heal your wounds, I’m not saying you have to heal mine. You’re like me, Thomas. We could make it work, I know we could, and you know it too._

 

**iv. well, we’ve been holding on tonight**

Thomas grows in her. Teresa looks at him and she knows she has found what everyone looks for in someone; he’s like a part of her she had lost a long ago and now she has again. Thomas _understands_ her, he understands, and that’s everything she could’ve asked for. But it’s not just… It’s not the only thing about them. They’re yin and yang, black and white, light and dark, loud and quiet. They’re sun and moon, they’re opposites — but together they melt and turn into something new, something good, something that works. Together, they’re whole. And the scars, the bruises, the bones that were broken before, they don’t matter anymore because it’s in the past; Thomas would never do that to her, she would never do that to him. Maybe they don’t know how, but they want to take care of each other, and that’s it. The will to try, the urge to be whole, to make it right. That’s what makes them so _perfect_ together.

 

**v. i never want to let you down or have you go**

Maybe that’s how it feels to be falling in love. Thomas and his smiles, his long lasting laughs that sound like music to her ears. Everytime she looks at him, she feels… Complete. He’s not perfect, she knows it, and she can point out all the _wrong things_ about him without hesitating. And at the same she can point out all his qualities, one for each flaw, with the same abruptness. She knows Thomas maybe more than she knows herself, and this is a lot of saying. Maybe not all his traits please her but, for sure, there’s something about him, something that she loves, and she doesn’t even deny it — Teresa’s nothing but honest with herself, and she knows she knows that her heart beating fast whenever she looks at him must mean something.  
Thomas is the most curious boy on Earth. He would take a risk without thinking twice if it meant he would discover something. It makes him brave, and just a bit stupid. Maybe. Probably.  
(Teresa knows that it’s not a good thing, that this will get him killed someday but she doesn’t have it in her to tell him to stop)

 

**vi. what’s the worst thing i can say?**

They’re a team. Like a superhero duo. Like a chemical formula. Molecule. H2O. It’s just them, together, against the world.  
Until the day it isn’t.

 

**vii. and what’s the worst you take (from every heart you break)**

Thomas says her name is Brenda. Her smiles are sharp, her eyes are knowingly, dark — she looks like a predator savouring it’s victim’s despair.  
Teresa knows it’s just inside her head. Truly. Brenda is none like that because Thomas would never love someone like that. He couldn’t. Can’t. She doesn’t believe he can. If she took a time to really look at the other girl, she would see — she would understand why Thomas is in love. But she doesn’t want to look, because she already _knows_ what it is.  
Brenda’s all strong eyes and firm hands and confidence. She’s like a rock, a wall, a fort. She’s someone like Teresa herself, she’s a warrior and she wouldn’t think twice before hitting you if she felt threatened.  
But Brenda is soft like Teresa could never be. She’s soft in the smiles, in the touches, in the way she walks around Thomas — she’s all soft like a kiss after a wound, like a hug after being lonely. Her strength and kindness work side by side; she’s the type of girl who would slap you in the face by being an utterly idiot, but also would take care of you and forgive your mistakes if you regretted what you did.  
And she’s beautiful, too. No denying it. Eyes dark like the night sky, long brown hair like wood, smooth skin.  
(Teresa denies, though, the envy, jealousy burning her from inside out; she refuses to be this kind of girl even though she can’t help it)

**viii. you said you read me like a book (but the pages are all torn and frayed)**

_We were supposed to be together. You know that, don’t you? Sometimes I think about what we could’ve been. We should’ve been. I know that deep down, you’ve loved me the way you love her, Tom. When did this change? How couldn’t I see it? I should’ve seen it. You should’ve told me, you bastard. It wasn’t fair. I’ve given my heart to you, my soul, my everything. I thought you would understand, that you would make me whole. You didn’t. And I can’t take it back now. That’s how it’s meant to end? You and Brenda together, and... I can’t keep going on without you, Tom. You know it. I can’t live without you. But I have to. I need to learn to. And I will, even if I die trying._

 

**ix. I held you close as we both shook for the last time**

Their last night together as the amazing duo, and Teresa thought that everything would be fine.  
She thought many things.  
Sometimes she was right. This time she’s not.

[ _please, please, Teresa, look at me_ ]

She looks up to Thomas’ face, and his eyes are bright, tears rolling down his cheeks.  
 _What’s up, baby boy? Why are you crying? You shouldn’t be crying… It hurts when you do._

[ _ **look at me** , please, don’t leave me_]

_There are many things I should’ve told you, you know. How you made me happy. How you made me feel like it was okay. Like it could be okay. You got me when we were falling apart, but we still made it. That’s not something we should be proud of?_

[ _don’t you dare, don’t you **dare**_ ]

_But, more than anything… I should’ve told you loved you. Before. I loved you then, and I love you now, and I shouldn’t, but I do. You promise me you won’t forget me? Even when you’re with her… Brenda. I want you to remember me. It’s selfish, but I want you to remember me. I want you to remember you used to love me. I want you to remember that girl who lived a life like yours. I want you to keep my like a scar in your heart. Could you? Could you love me even when I’m long gone?_

[ _ **Teresa**_ ]  
[ _Teresa, **please**_ ]

Thomas is getting married tomorrow and Teresa has a bullet hole in her chest. This is the last things she remembers: his face wet, careful hands holding her, strong arms around her already cold body. Pleading, begging for her to stay. His eyes are the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

[ **Teresa** ]

And then… Darkness.

 

**x. i told you time and time again (you sing the words but don’t know what it means)**

Thomas is the only one she has ever cared for.  
It’s not enough.

**Author's Note:**

> the quotes are all from my chemical romance songs:  
> i. the black parade  
> ii. the ghost of you  
> iii. disenchanted  
> iv, vi & vii. helena (iv. is modified)  
> v, viii, ix & x. i'm not okay (i promise)
> 
> I've just shattered my heart. Again.  
> [you know that heartbreaking feeling when you meet someone and everyone thinks you're a perfect team and that you should be together, but you're not, and one of you have feelings for the other, but this other doesn't know, and then everything hurts and nothing is okay?]
> 
> [Also, this is my tumblr](http://solemnhypnoticdahlia.tumblr.com). I take prompts, fangirl over things on my dashboard, and do mostly nothing useful there. Come cry with me ;____;


End file.
